Monday, September 7, 2026

salt waves on an ocean drive












































In late August I booked flights to Croatia with twelve days notice before this trip with my friend Cynthia. I'm not usually one for spontaneous plans, but after not taking any time off all summer, I was itching to get away to someplace new. Croatia had everything I wanted from a European vacation: ancient and medieval buildings, rich history, Mediterranean flavors, and seaside views. And before I even had time to process my upcoming trip, I was off for a week on the Dalmatian coast where I traveled to Split, Dubrovnik, and back to Split again for my flight back to New York. 

I've been trying to shoot more on my SLR lately after only packing point-and-shoots on my last few trips, and I got lucky that I was able to find a lab in Split that did an incredible job with developing and scanning my rolls in just one hour. This trip inspired me to shoot more than I have in years, and for the first time maybe ever, I ran out of fresh film several days early. I don't think I was adequately prepared for how stunning the views would be in the late summer sun, but I hope I was able to capture what it was like to turn a corner and see golden light spilling through narrow alleyways or views from high vantage points and share what it was like for you here. 

xoxo, vivian

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

gods among men

I saw Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey this past opening weekend, which probably wouldn't surprise you if you know that I was once a classicist and recently read the new Daniel Mendelsohn's translation of The Odyssey. My alma mater organized a virtual book club with the Classics department to discuss the text this past spring semester, and even though I inevitably fell behind on the my readings by lecture days (ah, it was like being back in school again), I did manage to finish about a month ago before the movie came out. The only other time I read The Odyssey before this spring was in freshman year of high school, so this was my first time reading it in proem form. The Classics department chose Mendelsohn's translation for this book club because his version preserves the form and feel of the original Greek while still modernizing the language over the Lattimore or Fitzgerald renditions. However, it's Emily Wilson's translation from 2017, which simplifies the poetic form into shorter lines in order to make the language more accessible to modern readers, that primarily inspired Nolan's film adaptation.

Wilson's version opens with the line: "tell me about a complicated man." Complicated is unique to Wilson, with the original πολύτροπος more literally describes this to be a man of "many turns." A movie can be a challenging medium to faithfully render the complexity of a story with so many characters and side plots; between the time constraints and production budgets, I think it's possible to have an epic story or a complex character, but it's impossible to have both. Nolan's Odyssey prioritizes the former, featuring nearly all of the monsters and mystical creatures Odysseus and his men encounter in the first two thirds of the film. The scale of the film is undeniably impressive in its commitment to preserving the odyssey of it all. By my count, only Odysseus's final stop to the land of the Phaeacians was cut from this adaptation so that the lengthy exposition of his journey happens during Odysseus and Calypso's conversations on a deserted beach instead. We learn that Calypso has been feeding Odysseus lotuses to forget what happened to him until one day she finally tells him to stop; it's time to start remembering again. 

The setting where we meet our protagonist for the first time is an endless expanse of sea and sky. Odysseus is all alone save for Calypso—or is he? 

Athena, as played by Zendaya, is the only god presented as a character in Nolan's Odyssey, but even her depiction is made ambiguous. While other gods like Zeus and Poseidon are invoked and it's referenced in one scene that gods may disguise themselves as mortals, at no point are any of the other gods embodied or depicted as actual characters throughout the film. This is a significant departure from all the god-to-god interactions in the original text where Athena appeals to Zeus to help Odysseus or Zeus holds Poseidon back from killing Odysseus at sea, not to mention the god-to-man ones where Athena disguises herself as other characters to convince mortals like Telemachus or Penelope to take action or to grant Odysseus with unworldly abilities or powers. In contrast, Athena in Nolan's Odyssey functions as sort of an angel-on-your-shoulder who is seen by Odysseus only, and perhaps he's only imagining her as a projection of his own guilty conscience. In the final flashback to the sacking of Troy, we see Odysseus watch as his fellow Greeks forcibly take a priestess—portrayed by Zendaya, looking just like Athena as she appears to Odysseus's mind's eye—and behead her.

The omission of the gods fundamentally changes the framing of the story: to remove the gods is to remove the manipulators of fate. In a world where gods can do as they please, a man like Odysseus can be complicated in that morally grey way that comes with hypocrisy, savagery, adultery, and wrongdoing so long as the gods favor you, intervening and allowing you to get away with it. But if there are no gods here scheming in a world apart to shape mortal lives as they see fit, then that means men must face the consequences of their actions on their own. 

Nolan's depiction of Odysseus, a man who struggles with guilt over the destruction he helped bring upon Troy, is only possible in a world where Odysseus feels the weight of the war and the death of his men on his shoulders and struggles to bear it. I'm not sure that this is true of the original text. The movie gives purpose to why Odysseus is stuck on Calypso's island spiritually: Odysseus can't just go home as he is; he wants to return to Ithaca as a good man, one who deserves respect as a king and leader of men. (Whose judgment?) Perhaps he also seeks forgiveness as someone who failed to protect the innocent. (Whose forgiveness?) It's this moral conviction, coupled with a godsless framing of agency in the grand scheme of things, that suggests Nolan has imparted an implicitly Christian interpretation onto Odysseus's character.

Making Odysseus out to be a moral man necessitates sanding down his rougher edges in order to tell a more coherent narrative. He is certainly kinder, more merciful, and more trusting than how I read him in the poem. Can this version really be characterized as complicated though? The movie's Odysseus is stripped of his humor, his hubris, his deceptions, and his penchant for telling lies. Gone too was the penultimate recognition scene between Odysseus and Penelope, where she proves she can out-trick a trickster. On a practical level, Penelope needs to test him in case the man before her is actually a god in disguise; on a spiritual level, she proves that she is truly his equal in cunning intelligence and that the two deserve each other. It was one of the scenes I was looking forward to the most. 

I'm not a purist: I don't think an adaptation is successful only if it remains faithful to the source material. I'm glad Nolan made the story into something of his own, breathing new life in ancient characters and sparking a curiosity among moviegoers to watch this strange and marvelous tale unfold, even if there are elements I wish I saw in this blockbuster rendition. Everyone inevitably brings their own biases and interpretations into the movie theater, so even if the adaptation didn't capture everything I wanted, his version gives me more material to react to when I discuss the film with others and ultimately revisit the joys I once found in studying classics all those years ago. 

xoxo, vivian 

Friday, April 24, 2026

secret gardens in my mind






I was testing out the fresh battery I loaded into my Olympus camera when the lens door broke off the night before my flight to LA. I've been shooting this camera for over a decade now, and even though it had a lens flare problem since we first met, this camera was something of a constant companion through dozens of moves and travels both near and far. George thought I seemed weirdly unbothered when I told him my camera broke until he noticed I have two other Olympus point-and-shoots (thanks Amanda for rescuing these from your parents' house and gifting them to me). One of them came to OC with me for a wedding that weekend, and I'm thinking about loading my black and white roll (my second ever) into the other. The cameras come and go but at least I'll still have the records they create.

Spring in New York bloomed in fits and starts this year. I went back to DC for a weekend trip last week when there were still bare branches and unfurled magnolia buds on trees only to return to tender greens and sidewalks littered with fallen petals. Back in February, I booked my Amtrak tickets to visit some friends in April thinking we'd wander through the wisteria at Dumbarton Oaks, one of the few DC bucket list items left unchecked after living there for five years. Winter was cold—I thought for sure the bloom would be later than usual, but unfortunately I didn't account for there to be a few unseasonably warm spells in March and early April accelerating peak wisteria after all so they were nearly all gone by the time I arrived. 

A week before I left I asked George to teach me how to shoot manual on his mom's DSLR. I wish someone had handed me a camera like this eleven years ago when I first felt the desire to shoot; back then I was so broke I couldn't afford anything more than that first Olympus point-and-shoot I bought for $33.70 off of eBay and a $13 pack of 3 Fujifilm Superia Xtra 400s from Amazon. I've loved my decade of film (and much-improved iPhone cameras), but lately I've been wanting more autonomy over the images I create to experiment with light and depth and color in post. The Dumbarton photos turned out better than expected, but I also still have a lot left to learn with shooting digital and closing the gap between what I want to create and how I actually make it happen. Maybe this is the push I need to finally try shooting in manual on film too.

The photos I originally had in mind were framed by pale purples diluted with white sunshine and shadows that faded into nothing. I thought I wanted a look that was overexposed and dreamy, but when the skies turned grey and the greens got even deeper I couldn't stop thinking about that line from the bridge of Florence + The Machine's "South London Forever" that goes: and I don't know anything / except that green is so green / there's a special kind of sadness that seems to come with spring

I hope it's beautiful too from wherever you're reading this.

xoxo, vivian